It's About Time.

Kolby's typical day...
Wake up....feel nausea.
Take nausea and pain meds.
Wait a half an hour.
Eat.
Half an hour later throw up.
Migraine.
Cry and complain a little bit.
Tries to eat a little more.
Feels nausea.
More nausea. Throws up.
More headaches. More tears.
Tired
No energy to do anything. More tears
Stays on the couch, curled up and watches t.v.
Snacks a little.
More nausea. More tears.
Headache to the point of tears.
Eats a little lunch.
Takes more meds.
Feels nausea.
Throws up.
Naps off and on.
Snack
More nausea
Throws up. More tears.
Dozes off and on.
Tries to eat dinner.
Takes more meds.
More nausea.
Doesn't feel well.
Wants ice cream (this is a nightly ritual).
Starts to feel a little better.
Takes more meds
Goes to bed for the night. Hoping for a full nights rest.
Starts all over again the next day.

This is Kolby's typical day. This is what Kolby has to deal with each day. As a family we try to make this process as bearable as possible for her. We do have moments of laughter. We all try to stay as positive as possible. This really helps Kolby when we are all positive. We just let her cry and complain. We just sit and listen to her. Listening to her without trying to say something to comfort her seems to help the most. When we try to console her, it just makes it worse. We just have to let her get it out. Then we hug her and rub her arms, back, and feet to help take away from her discomfort. This temporarily helps her.

Today was a little different. Kolby complained a lot, not so much about how she feels but why this is happening to her. She said over and over again how this really sucks. (A typical teenager response.) I totally agreed with her. It's a beautiful day outside and Kolby requests for all the blinds to be closed and the lights off. Light contributes to her headaches. She doesn't like loud sounds and all smells irritate her. She hasn't even been able to enjoy her new puppy. Life for her exists in her family room with a big bowl on her lap, and the constant feeling of throwing up.

I am glad that Kolby complained today. It's about time! She needs to do this so much more. It really does "suck". We cannot tell Kolby that we are sorry this is happening to her. It upsets her. She does not like it when we cry in front of her. It makes her cry even harder and more.

So, this is our day. Honestly, I hate leaving the room even for a moment. I swear, every time I do she throws up and needs my help. I am not complaining in any way. I am honored to serve my beautiful daughter. She deserves anything that will comfort and help her emotionally and physically during this horrible time in her life. She is not enjoying life right now, but at least she is living. Barely, but living. I could not imagine a life long illness like this. That would not be living, just surviving. So, even though the sun is shinning outside, and everyone is outdoors swimming, playing, and enjoying each others company, Kolby is inside with a dark cloud hoovering over her. She is praying for the day when the sunlight will warm her face, and she will feel alive and well again, with no pain, nausea, and lots of energy to do all the things she so longs for.

Thank you for keeping her in your hearts and prayers.

With many tears and a heavy heart,
The Momma