Prayer

All last night, each time I woke up, I prayed and prayed that Kolby would wake up and her throat wouldn't be as painful as it was yesterday. When I woke up this morning and went in Kolby's room to check on her, she had been up for a while and I could tell that she had been crying. Her throat was worse! Even after the new medication, and hours of pleading with Lord to lessen her pain, it still didn't work. It was 6:30 in the morning, so crawled in bed with Kolby to get a couple more hours of sleep. As I laid there I thought about a lot of things. I remember praying so hard that Kenzie (Kolby's litttle sister) would recover and a new heart would come for her transplant. But it never happened. I thought about how people talk about how their prayers are answered and how thankful they are for the power of prayer and healing. I thought about a lady asking me after Kenzie passed away if I still had a testimony of prayer. And I remember the response I made to her. I told her that, "yes, I did"! I think of a lot of things I have prayed for in my life and how many of my prayers were answered the way I wanted them to be answered. And now, I am thinking of the prayers that I have asked for that were not answered the way I wanted them to be. You know, we pray for faith, but the Lord just doesn't give us faith...he gives us "opportunities" to increase our faith. We pray for strength, and he gives us opportunities to increase our strength. And now I pray for Kolby, as many of my friends and family have, and I know that our prayers are not going to be instantly answered like my prayer for the relief of her painful throat. I joked with a couple of my friends when Kolby was first sick, and how I prayed that it wasn't cancer. And then it was cancer. Then my ward and many dear friends had a fast, and I fasted for a few things. I know the Lord has a sense of humor, and one of my pleas were, "Well, since I prayed for Kolby to not have cancer, and she still had it, will you please bless Kolby that she will not lose her hair!" I do have a great relationship with my Heavenly Father, and I know he smiles down at some of my requests. But overall, I know in my heart that even though Kolby will most likely lose her hair, I know that my prayers and pleas will not go unanswered. I know that he will give us the strength to endure this difficult time and journey. I know that many people go through trials and they lose their strength and testimonies of their faith. They become bitter, and even some marriages end. I have found myself snap at John sometimes, and I have to remember that this is also a test for us. I still have to work on our marriage, especially those intimate times that have seemed less and less since all this has happened. We still need to stay strong for Kolby. She depends on us and our love. I know that Kolby watches John and I and how we talk to one another. My children have always loved that fact that John and I are still in love and we show affection to one another. They jokingly tell us to knock it off sometimes. I realize that everything we do effects Kolby and how she feels too. I just do not have to take care of Kolby physically, but emotionally too. My faith and attitude have a huge impact on Kolby. So, each night that we kneel down for family prayer, our prayers will continue to ask for faith and strength and healing, and if we wake up in the morning and we still have our trials, we know that we will have the faith and strength to endure this. It is still going to be hard, and many tears will be shed, but I remember the prayer I had after I lost Kenzie. I prayed and thanked the Lord for sending this sweet little baby to our family so she could be loved and well taken care of. I also told the Lord if he needed to send another baby down that needed to be on this earth for a short amount of time, that I had the strength to do it again because I could love and take care of them. So many babies and children are born into families where they do not receive the love and care they so desperately need. And now I think, that prayer of so long ago is being answered again. I am so thankful that Heavenly Father sent Kolby down into our family. She will receive all the love, support, and care that she needs and even more. I just hope and pray that Kolby will make it and that this time in her life is just another chapter of many chapters in her life. And one day she will be able to help another that is going through this same trial. Remember.....Even Miracles Take A Little Time.