Tuesday was a "5" Day! Kolby told me she wanted to do something today to keep her mind off of "things". She wanted to go in the pool but then decided she didn't want to. Her friends Gabby and Chloe wanted to hang out and watch movies with her. I thought it was a great idea since she was having her chemo treatment the next day. She vacillated for a while and then she decided to hang out with them. (Which I was really glad for her and me.) I want Kolby to have fun and not just lay around the house. I know it's hard when she doesn't feel good. She admitted to me that she had to make her self take a shower and get ready and then she did feel better. Kolby cannot really go out into public because of her immune system. She is limited to what she can and cannot do. She is starting to get a little cabin fever. I see her wanting to do something, but then on the other hand she wants to just sleep so she doesn't have to feel anything and to forget what she is going through. I can see this wearing on her more and more.
Then in the evening Kolby had an emotional breakdown. She has been strong for so long, and now we are seeing more and more breakdowns. She just wants her life back. And frankly, so do all of us. This is a very hard trial for our whole family. It is very emotionally draining and really depressing. We all have to remember to be patient with one another especially during those stressful moments we are having lately. Especially me lately. I feel bad admitting this, but the last few days have been difficult. We all need "time outs." Then I feel horrible thinking that way when Kolby doesn't get a time out from cancer. Kolby said it just right the other day....this really sucks!!! More than we could have ever imagined.
Today Kolby goes in for another dreaded chemo treatment and spinal tap. She does not want to go. We will also be discussing with the doctors her scans in more detail. We are all dreading this visit. I know how you feel Kolby, I do not want to go either.
Then in the evening Kolby had an emotional breakdown. She has been strong for so long, and now we are seeing more and more breakdowns. She just wants her life back. And frankly, so do all of us. This is a very hard trial for our whole family. It is very emotionally draining and really depressing. We all have to remember to be patient with one another especially during those stressful moments we are having lately. Especially me lately. I feel bad admitting this, but the last few days have been difficult. We all need "time outs." Then I feel horrible thinking that way when Kolby doesn't get a time out from cancer. Kolby said it just right the other day....this really sucks!!! More than we could have ever imagined.
Today Kolby goes in for another dreaded chemo treatment and spinal tap. She does not want to go. We will also be discussing with the doctors her scans in more detail. We are all dreading this visit. I know how you feel Kolby, I do not want to go either.
We are thinking about you today and hoping it is a better day than you expect. I am so sorry for how awful this is for all of you.
ReplyDeleteDana, This is Paula Arriola. I am on FaceBook with Sarah Barlow and read that your daughter has cancer! Good grief, Dana! What next for you and your family! I have not read through the blog yet but have so many questions for you. I will read first so you do not have so many. I will remember you in my prayers and put her name on the pray list in St. George.
ReplyDeletePraying extra hard for positive news from the doctors and a better day today. *HUGS* ♥ Love you guys!!!!
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