Today was a very hard day for Kolby. She woke up with sores in her mouth and on her tongue. She was so depressed, I have never ever seen her frown so much. She hardly said a word all day. It was a very difficult day, and she kept saying over and over again, "I am so sick and tired of being sick!" Everyone tried to cheer her up, but no one could make her smile. She would cry and we tried to comfort her. She finally said to me tonight about 10:15 that crying actually made her feel better. Her dad read about another remedy to help with her mouth sores. It was half Benadryl and Maalox. He mixed it together and she swished it in her mouth for a minute or so (or at least she tried) and then she swallowed it. Her tummy was also upset, so hopefully the new mixture (cocktail) will help both her mouth and tummy. Everyone (Dillon, Brittlyn, Kylie and Jeff) came over for Family Home Evening. We ordered pizza and went swimming. We could only get Kolby to sit outside on a lawn chair. Everyone was laughing and joking around and she showed no emotion. It was so sad. As a parent we try everything to make our children happy, and tonight John and I felt so helpless. It was a very depressing day for the whole family. I kept thinking of the children's song....If You Chance to Meet A Frown...Do Not Let It Stay...Quickly Turn It Upside Down and Smile That Frown Away.....Hopefully tomorrow Kolby will smile that frown away.
I want thank Kristi and Kylie for designing these T-Shirts. At first I didn't want my name on the shirt. I really do not like having the attention on me. But, after I saw them I really liked them. Thank you Kristi and Kylie. Also, thank you so much Vicki and Dale for making the t-shirts, you did a great job. I just love them. Thank you!!! This has been really hard on me. I wish I felt better and I want my healthy body back. I miss hanging out with my friends and doing the things I like. I also do not like it when I feel sick. The blisters in my throat and mouth are gone right now, but when I take chemo again I know they will come back. It has been nice feeling good these last few days. I haven't had to have chemo this week because of the scans. It is such a good feeling to feel good again. I never really appreciated my healthy body till now. The chemo makes me feel horrible. I have no energy. I feel nauseous all the time and I get horrible headaches. They hurt so bad. I get s
Kolby, I am so sorry it was such a rough day! I know much it stinks to be intensely sick for a long time. Hoping today is a better day.
ReplyDeleteI agree, crying does make you feel better! Some days I feel like I want to cry but I don't. I just keep it in and then it rolls over into the next day, and then the next and then finally it has nowhere to go but OUT! After I've built up those tears for a day or two, the emotional release seems very cleansing.
ReplyDeleteKolby, you are very justified in all of your feelings! I can't say that I'd be wearing a smile either if I were in your shoes. But know that we do love and care for you and your dear family.
Kolby, when I'm pregnant and sick and throwing up 6-12 times a day and not able to move without thinking I'm going to die, I don't necessarily have the best attitude either :) I'm 100% just trying to get through each moment. That's about it. And to be COMPLETELY honest, some days I would rather die. I know that's horrible, but at the time, I can't bare thinking I have to go through one more second of it. So my point in all of this is that it is HARD! And you are absolutely normal to not want to smile at a single person :) I cried a lot through all 4 of my pregnancies and if I wasn't crying, I was just trying to focus on getting through it.
ReplyDelete(I know you don't love when people try to make you feel better, but I think it's just as much for me as it is for you, since I want to get pregnant in the next couple months and I KNOW I'll be SOOOO sick again. But please don't think I'm trying to compare what you're going through!) I love you!...Truly!!!!! My heart aches for you and I hope you can feel my love.
Crampton family...you are such a wonderful and loving family!