Keeping Kolby

Today Kolby went in the hospital for another round of scans to re stage the cancer level in her body. So, basically the doctors will compare the first set of scans with the scans from today. She was at Stage 4 and we are hoping that she is now at Stage 1 or lower. We will not find out the results until tomorrow or Friday. You know those doctors, they take a little while. And really, we cannot complain, they have been wonderful with Kolby. We truly feel so blessed with the care that Kolby has received. After Kolby had her scans we met her dad at the Olive Garden for lunch. Then Kolby went home and slept the rest of the day. It was a long day for Kolby and it wiped her out. We will be anxiously waiting for the results. Oh, and Kolby is feeling wonderful again today. Yay!!! We are so thankful for every one's prayers!

Kolby has pretty much slept all day. Her poor little body must need the additional rest. So, I let her sleep while I watch Twilight and New Moon to get ready for Eclipse. (LOL) I have tried to wake her to do a couple things with me, but she just wants to sleep. Her MRI and PET Scan is tomorrow. We sure hope all is well. So, for now......we will let her sleep, she has a big day tomorrow.

Today was a marvelous day for Kolby . She woke up, still had blisters in her mouth and throat but she wanted to eat some pancakes again. She was is such a better mood though. She got in the pool with me this morning....and it was so nice. We visited for about an hour. It is the most Kolby has talked to me since before she was diagnosed with cancer. We chatted about a lot of things, just like old times. It was wonderful. She took a long bubble bath and then came out all dressed. She didn't even go back to the couch. She walked around the house and did a few things. She got on her facebook and was on it for quite a while. I told her to update her status and she said she just doesn't know what to say....so I told her to write how much she loves her mom. Yes, she laughed at me. A few friends invited me to dinner and she told me that I definitely needed to go cause I needed some adult time. So I went. It was nice, and her cousin Drew came and hung out with her. ...

Saturday....."Daddy Daughter Day!" Kolby and John spent the whole day together. It was Kylie's baby shower, and Kolby wasn't feeling well enough to go. I admit, I was very very disappointed. John gave up a round of golf to stay home and take care of his baby girl. It was actually nice for John and Kolby. John is so good with Kolby. She was very emotional all day. He has a way of calming her down and getting her to take her meds and feel better even under the most painful situations. Her throat is horrible. Sores and blisters under her tongue, roof of her mouth, on her cheeks and gums and down her throat. She does not want to talk, swallow, or eat when it is like that. Her dad got her some Ensure and she was able to slowly sip it down. Fortunately, the new nausea medicine is really working. She has to take Benadryl with it though. If she doesn't her joints can lock up. She got a little freaked out because her tongue started to feel weird. The Benadr...

I know when Kolby was born we used to call her chunky monkey. She was so chubby; she had rolls all over her body. I know her eyes have always been big, beautiful and brown. We used to say she looked like Dora the explorer. I know when she was a toddler Kylie and I would tell her to put her mouth on the hose then we would tell her we would turn the water on only “a little bit” so she could get a drink of it. Than we would turn it on full blast and giggle as we watched the water spilling out of her mouth. She seemed to fall for it every time. I know as a young child I would “trade” her, my $3 one dollar bills for her $5 dollar bill because she would be “getting the better deal with more bills”. (I know I was an evil big sister). I know growing up You Got Mail was mine and Kolby’s favorite movie. We watched this all the time, especially when we went camping. I know she loves the movie The Wedding Planner, we have watched this hundreds of times and it has become her “comfort” movie. I know...

Kolby woke up this morning with more sores in her mouth. She now has blisters on her gums, cheeks and the inside of her lips. Her throat hurts just as bad. So I made her a fried egg. I thought I would put lots of love in her eggs this morning. When I showed her the heart eggs I made her it made her smile......SCORE!!! I always love seeing Kolby smile. She tried to eat it, but she couldn't. Instead, she slowly drank an Ensure with lots of ice in it. Kolby is extra tired today. Again, she isn't talking that much. I got her to help me start making one of Kylie's gift we are giving her for her baby shower (can't tell yet, I know she'll read this and the surprise will be ruined). She helped me till she dozed off. I asked Kolby if she wanted to get out and see a movie tonight. I loved her response...it was a good one. She said she will go to the movies when she can eat her favorite candy. You know....you just can't go to the movies and not have your favorite candy. So...

Kolby had a hair appointment today. She was spoiled for over an hour getting her hair cut and styled. Vicki was so good with Kolby. She spent a lot of time with Kolby and made sure her hair cut was exactly what she wanted. Kolby is very picky with her hair. We kept telling Kolby that one of the things we wanted to do with her once she felt better was to get her hair, nails, and toes done. We still need to get those nails and toes done. Kolby...you deserve to be pampered these days!!! Right now her dad is taking care of her and getting her ready for the night. He is getting her meds and mixing up her special mouthwash cocktail (Benadryl and Maalox). She is having a little melt down, her throat hurts really bad, she has a bad headache and she needs some great TLC. Her dad is the best medicine in the evenings. I am so thankful for him and his magic touch with his baby girl.

Kolby woke up this morning feeling extra nauseous. She informed me that she wanted to hang out on the couch all day. What could I say? So I just agreed with her. She requested pancakes for breakfast so her wish was granted. :o) Her sores in her mouth and tongue are still the same. She had some weird colors on her tongue when she woke up...she thought she had chewed a bug during the night. Gross...but she didn't. She brushed her tongue and most of it came off. Pretty freaky though. She has a pretty good sense of humor about everything these days which is really good. Gotta stay positive!!!

Today Kolby was feeling well enough to go to lunch with me and some of my girlfriends. It was so nice for Kolby to get out of the house. We ate at the Spicy Pickle and Kolby ate almost all of her food. She still has sores on her tongue and in her throat, but she was a trooper and she didn't let it keep her down. Then we went shopping. We went to Kohls and Target. Kolby picked out a few fun items and then she was done. Her lower back started to hurt and she was tired so she wanted to go home. Once she got home, she crashed. It was so nice for Kolby to take a little break from her meds and go out and have fun, and feel like Kolby again.

Today Kolby had a chemo treatment and a spinal tap. It went really well. I quickly took this picture of Kolby's dad sitting with her while she slept. Her doctors told us that Kolby doesn't have to have chemo next week, so she gets a chemo break for 2 weeks. She will be having her scans to see if all the cancer was killed by her treatments. She also does not have to take her steroids or other pills during this time. Only nausea and pain meds as needed. We are all so happy. The steroids make Kolby very emotional and moody. So, even though she had chemo today, she did not have to have her steroids and we are seeing a huge difference in her whole attitude. Her mouth sores are still there and dad's "cocktail" seems to help ease the pain. She also got another nausea medicine, so hopefully she will be her old self in a matter of a couple days. She is already doing so much better. Her friend Becca and her mom came over and visited for a while. They also took a couple ...

Today was a very hard day for Kolby. She woke up with sores in her mouth and on her tongue. She was so depressed, I have never ever seen her frown so much. She hardly said a word all day. It was a very difficult day, and she kept saying over and over again, "I am so sick and tired of being sick!" Everyone tried to cheer her up, but no one could make her smile. She would cry and we tried to comfort her. She finally said to me tonight about 10:15 that crying actually made her feel better. Her dad read about another remedy to help with her mouth sores. It was half Benadryl and Maalox. He mixed it together and she swished it in her mouth for a minute or so (or at least she tried) and then she swallowed it. Her tummy was also upset, so hopefully the new mixture (cocktail) will help both her mouth and tummy. Everyone (Dillon, Brittlyn, Kylie and Jeff) came over for Family Home Evening. We ordered pizza and went swimming. We could only get Kolby to sit outside on a la...

Today was a great day for our family. Kolby went to church. It was a challenge , but it was really important for Kolby to go to church today with her dad. She got up, got ready and she looked beautiful. I really wish I would have taken pictures of the girls with their dad, but we were in such a hurry to get off to church that I forgot. Next time I will for sure. She was pretty emotional at church. It was a lot for her to get ready and go to church for the first time in a while. She wanted to arrive a few minutes late, and leave a few minutes early. It is really hard for Kolby to see people, only because of all the different emotions she is feeling right now. She gets very emotional when people hug her and express their love and support. She loves it, but right now, she cries every time she has a new visitor or sees people. So, please do not get offended if Kolby is quiet when you see her or visit with her. It's just how she is right now, and that's ok . Everyone deals wit...

I think that is safe to say that almost everyone…has had some kind of a really bad hair day!!! I bet you even have friends or family who happen to have priceless photos of a few of your “Really Bad Hair Day” moments!! I think I may have seen some of you on T.V.’s “Americas Funniest Home Videos”!!! On Friday at 4 o’clock in the afternoon we had an appointment to fix the “Bad Hair Day” that Kolby has been having. We have some dear friends who also have their youngest Daughter fighting with cancer. Mike & Debbie Dean have been an inspiration to our family along with their teenage daughter Jamie. Jamie has been fighting a battle with Leukemia since November of last year and it has been incredibly hard on her and her family. They have been such an amazing example of how a family pulls together and works through trials. Jamie’s older sister was the donor for her bone marrow transplant. This whole family has sacrificed a lot and really been through a lot this last year and yet they have...

Kolby's typical day... Wake up....feel nausea. Take nausea and pain meds. Wait a half an hour. Eat. Half an hour later throw up. Migraine. Cry and complain a little bit. Tries to eat a little more. Feels nausea. More nausea. Throws up. More headaches. More tears. Tired No energy to do anything. More tears Stays on the couch, curled up and watches t.v. Snacks a little. More nausea. More tears. Headache to the point of tears. Eats a little lunch. Takes more meds. Feels nausea. Throws up. Naps off and on. Snack More nausea Throws up. More tears. Dozes off and on. Tries to eat dinner. Takes more meds. More nausea. Doesn't feel well. Wants ice cream (this is a nightly ritual). Starts to feel a little better. Takes more meds Goes to bed for the night. Hoping for a full nights rest. Starts all over again the next day. This is Kolby's typical day. This is what Kolby has to deal with each day. As a family we try to make this process as bearable as possible for her. We do have mo...

Well Keemo is no longer Keemo. Kolby ended up not liking that name. She says she hates chemo, and every time we called the pup Keemo the more she didn't like that name. We are still undecided for now. Oh, and he looks so cute now that we had him groomed. Kolby had a bad morning. She ate breakfast and then threw it up....followed by a horrible headache. Poor thing just hasn't been the same. Chemo wears and tears her down. She has no energy. I overheard her talking to her dad and she was telling him how horrible she feels and how painful her headache was. I caught her looking in my phone at old pictures of her and I could tell that she was sad. It is very hard on Kolby, and it is just heartbreaking not only to see her so sick but to also know she is depressed about how her life has so drastically changed. She met a girl yesterday while at the doctor's office. This girl had a brain tumor. She was in treatment for 3 years, and then she was in remission for 6 months, and then it...

Wow, it's already Wednesday. Where did Tuesday go? Well a friend of Kristi's knew a lady who bred shih tzu's. She over bred and she had to get rid of them. She was giving some away, so we had to hurry and drive to her house clear across town to look at them and decide if we wanted one before 10:00 because Kolby had a chemo treatment at 10:30. Kolby and I finally got there and she picked out the cutest puppy ever. He looks alot like Kosmo. We had Kylie and Jeff meet us at the hospital to babysit the puppy while Kolby went for her treatment. Then when we went inside, the nurses said she could have totally brought him in with her. We were bummed! Anyways, they did her blood work and all her levels were really high. Which is really really good. She had her treatment, but this time she had an extra dose of a different type of chemo which she only has to have 5 more times. This treatment knocked her out for the rest of the day. Oh, and Kolby didn't want to hold the new puppy...

Ok, Kosmo is our family dog. When Kolby was eating ice cream, Kosmo just sat there the whole time and stared at her. It was so funny, I just had to take a picture. He wouldn't look away. Kosmo loves Kolby. He sleeps at her feet at night. When Kolby first came home from the hospital, he would just lay by her and watch her. He wouldn't even eat as much as normal. I swear he felt what was going on and he had sympathy for her. Oh....and Kolby did end up giving him some of her ice cream.

After dad heard that Kolby was having a hard day.....guess what he did??? Yep, he went right out and bought her the cutest hats ever. She definitely has him wrapped around her little finger.....in fact every finger. Kristi and Kylie loved the hats too, they were trying them on, and they had to remind her how they all share. :o)

Kolby woke up and had a rough morning. She didn't want to go anywhere and she didn't want any friends coming over. Side effects of the chemo are becoming more and more apparent and Kolby is devastated. It breaks my heart when I cannot solve certain issues, and all I can do is hold her when she cries. I have found that it is better to just let Kolby cry and cry all she wants and I say absolutely nothing. NOTHING at all! She cries and then we talk and solve the problem the best that we can. Her friend Gabby was planning on coming over and right before she walked in the door Kolby told me to call her and tell her to not come over. But then Gabby came over and it was the best medicine. Kolby put on a cute black hat after her telling me that she would never wear hats. And next thing I know....they are on the kitchen floor giggling and eating out of the junk drawer! They ended up in the pool and they sat on floats and visited all day. Jeff and Kylie came over with their new WII game...

Today was a nice quiet day for Kolby. She actually slept most of the day. She woke up not feeling as well as she had the previous days. She felt nausea, throat hurt a little, and a head ache. She just wanted to be left alone and sleep. She didn't speak that much either. She wanted John to BBQ and for me to make potato salad for dinner. She also wanted to sit in the warm pool again. We ate dinner in the backyard, it was so nice and there was a nice breeze. Kolby was quiet during dinner. I could tell she didn't feel that well. Becca and her mother came by and brought her the cutest T-shirt from BYU. Kolby wasn't able to attend EFY (Especially for Youth) up at BYU this summer. She says she will next year though. They also stayed and visited for a while. It was so nice. Kylie and Jeff came over to for dinner too. We all sat in the pool for a while afterwards. Kolby loved it. She didn't want to get out. These days Kolby is the boss. Whatever she wants to...

Today was another good day! Kolby had a couple visitors and her friend Gabby came over and hung out with her and watched movies all day. They finally got into the pool to relax and hang out. Kolby let me take a couple pictures. She doesn't really like me taking a lot of pictures of her. She has always been like that. But then in the end, she is glad I did. She just doesn't like getting her picture taken....especially these days. But I snuck a few. And I love them!!! We are so very thankful for these last few days. We know that all of our prayers are being heard and answered. We are so blessed with so many friends and family that keep Kolby in their hearts and prayers. Thank you all so very much. We know that Kolby will have rough times through this journey, so each day she has a good day we are ever so thankful. There's nothing like seeing Kolby smile and feel some relief, peace and happiness during this difficult time. All of your prayers, visits, cards, gifts, comments, a...

Kolby was informed that she is eligible for a "wish" from The Make A Wish Foundation. Make-A-Wish grants wishes for children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy. Make A Wish Foundation wants to make certain that the child gets their dream. The Wish Granter assists kids to explore their imagination and discover what their most heartfelt wish is and work at making it come true. It is the foundations sincere hope that this fun and exciting experience will create lasting, joyous memories for the child and family. Kolby is very excited and still undecided at what her wish is. As a family we are so honored for Kolby to have this opportunity. Make a Wish is a wonderful foundation and we are so thankful for them and for this opportunity for Kolby. Make a good one Kolby! This is your one chance to make your dream come true!

Kolby woke from a well rested 2 days of sleeping. She got up, ate breakfast, and stayed awake for a while. Then she wanted a cold drink. She said that a Strawberry Cream from Starbucks sounded great. I told her I would only go get her one if she went with me. She protested at first, but I forced her to go. It was a nice little venture out, but she didn't think so. She came home and took her meds. I no longer have to crush up her meds, her sore throat is almost all gone. (Thank goodness). Then she took a mini nap. Mindie Barlow and Tiffany Mohler came over for a fun visit. Kolby said she could tell that I was in need of visitors. LOL This was what made the day! Kolby wanted pizza for lunch. Deriann and Greg went and got Little Ceasers cheese pizza and bread sticks for her. She ate 2 pieces and a bread stick. She loved every bite. And she was able to keep it down. Then she crashed again for a nice long nap. After she woke up, we talked her into sitting in the back...

Ok, I have to hurry and write a little blog. Kolby woke up this morning and she told me that she does not remember anything about yesterday...except that her dad made her a chicken pot pie last night for dinner....go figure! She even asked me if Jeff and Kylie came over. Which they did. The doctor gave her a new nausea pill and it had an additional perk for anxiety...well it totally knocked her out, and it could have caused her to be so emotional. So, I think we'll stick with the old meds. Kolby even told me that she wanted to go lay out on a float in the pool today. So Yeah!!!! She still has a head ache and we hope the watermelon and toaster strudel she just ate will stay down!

Kolby had probably one of the most emotional days since she has been sick. She didn't speak very much today. She cried off and on all day long. She said she didn't know why she was crying but that she just felt like crying. We all asked her what she was thinking about and it just made her cry more. We all told Kolby that it is ok to cry, and she was allowed to cry all she wanted. I left the family room for a moment and when I came back Kristi was rubbing her feet and Kylie was tickling her arm and hands. After she cried, she would just sleep. She slept most of the day. We asked her what day it was, and she wasn't sure, heck sometimes I do not even know what the day is half the time. Her dad came home, and of course he takes over and cheers her up and takes care of her. I went to see CATS with my mom tonight (Thanks to Debbie Furey for the tickets!) and when I came home Kolby was sleeping on the couch once again. So, I am going to snuggle up by her, sleep, and hope...

So, I went over to my parents today to visit Kolby and my mom. I got there and Kolby was still asleep! That crazy girl can sleep till 12 in the afternoon! I used to be able to do that in high school and during the summer, but being pregnant it's a lot harder! I love sitting there with Kolby, even when she does sleep all day long. I didn't get to see her yesterday, and I hate the days I don't see her. So I made sure to come by today and hang out with her for awhile. I was talking to her about her "wish" since she gets to make a wish with Make A Wish Foundation. I asked if she made a decision. She told me no, she hasn't. I asked her why not?! She said she wants to do something that the whole family can be included in. There Kolby goes, trying to think of everyone else instead of this one wish for herself! I told her we can always do things as a family. That she needed to think of this wish for HERSELF! I love her so much. I sat with her and told her to lay down ...

Even though she is my baby girl…Kolby and I have always been the best of buds. We have this special look we give each other when her Mom starts chattering about something or another…and we just roll our eyes and smile and think…Oh Brother…here she goes! (Sorry honey…we love you…this is just for her blog!!). Dana has absolutely done an amazing job with this blog and it is a true testament of her love for her daughter and for our family. I love each one of my girls and we all have a special father-daughter-friend relationship that I will treasure all the years of my life. Kolby just happens to be the baby and the one that is most like me. Kristi is a perfect mix of both Mom and Dad. She has Dana’s beauty and my brains. (Sorry honey…I love you…this is just for her blog!!). Kylie is bubbly and just plain fun! She is a carbon copy of her Mom, always positive and smiling. Kolby is a lot like me in a ton of ways…which we will not go into right now…except to say that she is plain AMAZING!!!! I...

I was looking over my blog and I noticed that there wasn't that much about my dad, cause my mom is doing most of the writing. He is such an important part of my life and my recovery. My dad was my seminary teacher this year so he woke me each morning and we drove to seminary each day. He is the greatest seminary teacher. I was lucky to be in his class. I missed the last two weeks cause I was in the hospital, and I missed listening to his lessons. But I am super lucky to have him live at home with me and he is such an example to me. My dad knows exactly how to cheer me up. When my mom is driving me crazy, he knows when to step in and tell her to knock it off. He totally defends me, and I love it. He always knows what to do and what to say to cheer me up. He even went out at midnight and bought me a slurpee. I was hungry one night at 11:00 and he went out and bought me chicken nuggets from Wendy's. See, I have him wrapped around my little finger. My dad is always tr...

Last night about 11:30 Kolby wanted some soup. I warmed her up some chicken noodle soup. About half way through she got sick and she threw up the whole thing. She was so miserable and upset. She cried so hard. She told me that she is so tired of being hungry. So tired of not being able to eat because of her sore throat and nausea. She says when she swallows it feels like knives going down her throat. She loves chocolate shakes and she cannot even swallow them. Believe me, we have tried everything. She also broke down so hard for the first time since she was told she had cancer. She said she had been thinking all day about how her life has changed so fast for the worse. She wonders why this is happening to her. She even let me hold her and cry with her. As I held her in my arms I could feel her bones, she is so skinny, she has no fat on her at all. She also said that she was so sad when her cousin, Drew, came over and was sunburned. Drew told her she had been swimming all...

Kylie and Kolby, you did such a beautiful job with Kolby's blog background. Kylie, thank you for spending so much time with your sister. I do not know what I would do without you and Kristi. Kolby loves you two very much and you both have a very special relationship with your sister. Your love and support is exactly what she needs when she gets tired of her mom. I actually have to chuckle when Kolby gets a little mad at me for nagging at her. I miss that feisty part of Kolby. But then I apologize to her, and that upsets her. She starts to cry, and then I start to cry, and it's a big mess. Then Kristi, Kylie, or John steps in and cheers her up. They are wonderful with her. I am so thankful and blessed to have such amazing daughters, and I am not just saying that.....it's the truth. It's amazing how one person with an illness can affect so many lives. In a good and bad way. When I start to get a little frustrated or overwhelmed, I can take a little break. B...

So, this is Kolby's sister Kylie! I've been hanging out with my beautiful little sister Kolby all afternoon. She cracks me up. As, many of you have noticed, her blog back ground has changed. Kolby and I sat down together and I showed her many back grounds and she picked the ones she liked. We spent a couple hours just playing around and putting a few things together, but it turned out pretty good, I think. Kolby also said she loved it, which is great, because i did it just for HER! I love coming over everyday and hanging out with my Kolby! Even when she's not feeling well, we still crack jokes and try to make each other laugh. Jeff and I were online looking at onesies for babies, and we found a onesie that said " You think I'm cute, you should look at my aunt" I TOTALLY want to get that. I showed it to kolby and she liked it! We always have a lot of fun hanging out together. Today we were talking about how we want baby Bentley here now because we cant wait an...

Deriann (my sister) brought over her new little baby girl (Austen) this evening and I took these pictures and they were so cute....I just had to share....... Today was a good day. Kolby and I slept on the couch last night. She didn't feel like walking to her bed. We woke up and had to get ready for her 11:00 chemo treatment. She still has a horrible sore throat, but I found a new way to give her meds. I put them in a baggie and gently pressed on them and crushed them, then put them on a spoon with a little slushee on it, and she was able to take her meds in a matter of seconds instead of hours. So all day, med time was a breeze. Thank goodness! Kolby had her third chemo treatment today. The treatments are rather fast. She has a port in her chest. We rub cream on it before we go and we cut a little piece of press and seal and we put it over it till we go. The press and seal was the nurses idea and it actually works great. The cream numbs the skin so they can access the port with a n...

Well, after a very traumatic morning and the beginning of Kolby's hair loss, we ended up having a very good day. Still having problems with Kolby getting her meds down...in fact it's a struggle. But we are cutting her some slack. Her throat is feeling better and meds and food are going down a little easier. She had a few visitors today which made her spirits go up. The McCallum Family brought her over a jewelry maker kit and Kylie, Kristi, and Kolby were already talking about making ankle bracelets for the summer. My dad brought her a beautiful card and super sweet flowers. Drew, Danni, Deena, Brittlyn , and my mom came and visited for a few minutes. And of course Kylie, Jeff and my future grandson, Bentley made their usual daily visit. She loves short visits. Thank you all for helping Kolby smile and for cheering her up. Oh, and Kylie and Kristi had a beautiful neckless made for Kolby . It's beautiful. It has a heart with her name engraved on it, and on the back...

This morning Kolby woke and was feeling so much better. Kristi came back from New Mexico and we all were laughing and joking around. Kolby was actually smiling. I thought for sure we were going to have a well embraced good day. Kolby went into the bathroom to get ready to take a shower and as she took out her ponytail she also took out a clump of hair. She was devastated. We were told that it would probably take a few weeks, not the second week. She was hysterical. How do you comfort a 15 1/2 year old teenage girl and tell her that it is going to be ok to lose her long beautiful hair and become bald??? There were no words of comfort. We just had to let her cry. Cry and cry and cry, hysterically! We talked her into taking a bath. She is so cute, she first wanted to wash and then put a bathing suit on, and then she let me wash her hair ever so gently. I used shampoo and conditioner at the same time and just gently rubbed her hair and then she just swished her hair around in...

All last night, each time I woke up, I prayed and prayed that Kolby would wake up and her throat wouldn't be as painful as it was yesterday. When I woke up this morning and went in Kolby's room to check on her, she had been up for a while and I could tell that she had been crying. Her throat was worse! Even after the new medication, and hours of pleading with Lord to lessen her pain, it still didn't work. It was 6:30 in the morning, so crawled in bed with Kolby to get a couple more hours of sleep. As I laid there I thought about a lot of things. I remember praying so hard that Kenzie (Kolby's litttle sister) would recover and a new heart would come for her transplant. But it never happened. I thought about how people talk about how their prayers are answered and how thankful they are for the power of prayer and healing. I thought about a lady asking me after Kenzie passed away if I still had a testimony of prayer. And I remember the response I made to her. ...

Today was the first official day of summer for Kolby and I. We woke up and Kolby had the worst sore throat ever, due to her meds. She couldn't swallow at all. Even her spit. She was in so much pain. I admit I was so angry. Not at her, but at the fact that she was so uncomfortable and I couldn't do a dang thing about it. I made her juicy scrambled eggs, and she tried to take a bite and swallow, but she couldn't, and this made her cry even more. She couldn't even take her pills that she HAS to take. It was not good at all. Lori Burr and Kedang(her exchange student) came over and brought her slurpees. Which Kolby's favorite is blue raspberry and cherry. She couldn't get them down either. Kolby has never been a crier, but she cried and cried. She settled down for a while and I looked on facebook. It was so depressing. I was reading every one's comments and the fun they were all having, and I just started to cry. This was supposed to be me and Kolby's summer....

Our Dear Friend Carla Beyerlein made these beautiful heart jewels for necklesses and a bracelet for Kolby. She wanted to make and give something to Kolby to remind her that so many people love and care about her and that they are thinking about her and supporting her. I wasn't home when Carla and McKenna came by to visit her. But Kylie told me that Kolby cried and was so touched by their gift. Kolby has never really been an emotional person, so when she cries I know that she has been touched. This is such a precious and thoughtful gift. Carla, you are a very special woman with a very kind heart. I am thankful for you and your family's friendship. We love ya. Thank you so much for making these special hearts for us to wear to show Kolby that she will always be in our hearts. What a great idea. Thank you.

I had to go into work today and close out my classroom and check out. Kolby called me when she woke up. Just hearing her sweet but weak voice made me so sad. I started to cry. She cried. I told her how sorry I was that she was sick. This made us both cry. I thought about her all day, but I knew Kylie and Jeff were there to hang with her while I was away. I always try to keep a smile on my face. There' s nothing more terrible than seeing someone and dreading talking to them. So, no matter what, I always try to look positive and happy. I thank the Lord that he gave me a cheerful disposition. LOL But, on my way home I called and Kylie said that Kolby was crying and didn't feel good. She said her back really hurt and she felt sick. I felt so bad not being home with her. I hurried home and she was just laying on the couch, with Kylie next to her tickling her back. Kolby didn't even look up at me, and I just laid down next to her and rubbed her back and head. S...

Ok, I just about lost it with Kolby this evening. She has a tendency to complain about taking her medications....."It tastes funny", "It's too big", "I'll take them in a minute", and so on. With one of her pills she has to let it sit in her mouth for a few minutes while it disolves. I swear, she complained about it for about 15 minutes. I finally told her, "Enough is Enough!!! Take that dang pill now!" Then, of course her dad comes to her rescue and totally babies her. It's ok, I am thankful for John and his unique way of turning Kolby's mood around in just a matter of seconds. They are buds...and I always tease her that she loves her dad more than me. He loves her so much that at 10:00 o'clock tonight she was hungry and craving Wendy's, so guess what??? Your right....he went and got her a meal...and she ate the whole thing. Kolby actually ate really good today, and with this new med she is on, she didn't fe...